Drunken Buffoon Confused from DC Bar Name

WASHINGTON DC / ADAMS MORGAN – Community college dropout and current cafeteria attendant, Kenny Stroker, was seen with a bewildered look on his face after learning from Crapital Hospitality that “Madams Organ” is not the name of the popular nightlife district in Washington DC.  “I still don’t know if I am hearing this right – Adams Morgan is the name of the DC sub-region and Madams Organ is a bar name in that area?  Is this one of those tongue twister tricks?” quoted Stroker, known to his buddies as “Shitfaced Stroker”. Stroker had been going to Adams Morgan for more than two years on a regular basis telling friends, cabbies, and drooling convicts riding the Metro that “Ima gonnna go to Madamms Organ, get my drink on… WOOO!!” He had no idea that there was a distinction between the two names.

Madams Organ is a popular blues restaurant and bar located in the Adams Morgan district of DC. They are known for their nightly live music, good drinks, and for its mural with large sweater-puppets. The establishment has been well-liked and is a fixture in Adams Morgan, the diverse neighborhood centered at Columbia road and 18^th street that features many bars, restaurants, and lounges. Madams Organ owner Billy D. Williamson approached the mix-up with mixed reactions. “We have used the play on words with our name to boost our brand awareness, but we have never intended to trick, confuse, baffle, or misdirect anybody. I thought that everyone would understand that it was a play on words. Then again, I have not met anyone as drunk and stupid as Kenny Stroker."

After an hour and half of beers provided by Crapital Hospitality, Mr. Stroker seemed to finally comprehend the 'news'. We guided him around Adams Morgan and showed him the distinction between the bar and the entire region, just to make sure. We even introduced him to jumbo slice pizza. “I have been so used to digging through trash barrels when I got the drunchies. This was a welcome treat.”

Stroker then asked if we could go to Adams Mill for more drinks. We told him that we were out of time and needed to report on other stories. Truth be told, we didn’t want a reaction like this one (hilariously inappropriate video) about Adams Mill's closing after we had just calmed him down.

Campus Bar Invents "Happy Hour" Concept to Attract College Students

WASHINGTON / GW – Local bar and tavern, Froggy Bottom Pub, recently announced to Crapital Hospitality that in order to increase revenue, management will be lowering prices on beer and other alcoholic drinks during specific times of the day, called a "Happy Hour". The pub, located near The George Washington University, is known mainly for its fun food, friendly atmosphere, and frogged-faced staff. The proposed “Happy Hour” will be approximately a three hour time period in the late afternoon/early evening when the establishment will attempt to lure college students drink and dine before normal dinner hours.

“The recent trend of college students binge drinking to the point of blackout, (especially at outrageously early hours) is a niche market that we need to capitalize on”, general manger Señor Frogge stated. The owner of the 26 year old establishment, pictured here, also commented that buying drinks at a cheaper price will lead to inebriated students making ‘stupid-ass orders’ and buying menu items that they don’t even want. Some of the drink specials will include $2 ‘Clear Beers’, $3 ‘Groggy Froggy Tea’ and $4 ‘Crotch Shots’, a shot so powerful that customers will literally feel like they’ve been kicked in the gonads.

While these low prices seem like a win-win for all involved, one Froggy Bottom employee, Ataree Frogger, was not so optimistic about the new strategy. 

“62% of all GW students have access to their father’s no-limit American Express card – why should we cut prices for these Georgetown rejects when they can clearly afford to pay regular price?”

Despite this dissenting opinion, the announcement is creating quite a buzz in the hospitality community and other establishments are considering following suit. One competing restaurant owner, who requested to remain anonymous, even was bold enough to say that he might experiment with giving out free samples of his restaurant’s micro-brew to collegians to maintain market share.