Tourists Forced to Sleep in DC Metrorail

WASHINGTON DC / BLUE AND ORANGE LINE – In recent hospitality news, Destination DC, Washington Metro Area Transit Authority (WMATA), and DC hotels have worked together to ‘walk’ guests to the Metro, because every single room in the nation’s crapital is sold out. “Hey bro, the freaking Cherry Blossoms are out, Obama is doing political stuff, and it’s sundress season – people want to be in DC. I’m not surprised that we don’t have any rooms left for stupid tourists,” Destination DC boss-man Benjamin “Chilly” Bowl told Crapital Hospitality.  For the last two weeks, stops on the blue and orange Metro lines from Foggy Bottom to Eastern Market have been used to accommodate over 7500 guests. Guests, such as this one pictured below, have slept on the station benches, on the platforms, and even in the metro cars. 

“We take the phrase ‘metro opens doors’ very seriously and in this situation, literally” quoted WMATA customer service liaison and uber Metro enthusiast Kirsti Kissass. “We revel in the opportunity to open our doors to allow tourists to stay in the Metro ... as long as they’re not regular homeless people. We don’t like them, they smell.”