3/26/2011

Red Roof Inn Changes Name to Reflect Its Inadequacies


WASHINGTON DC / CHINATOWN – In DC hotel news, Crapital Hospitality reports that the Red Roof Inn located in Chinatown has recently admitted to changing its name to ‘Red Reject Inn’ to more accurately describe its client base and its accommodations. According to the management team, this change was made to portray honesty and an ethical business attitude. “We care about all of our guests and their expectations” quoted general manager Shirley Ujest. After exploring the property and noticing mold and pest problems, itchy beds, water shortages, and lack of central air Crapital Hospitality asked her if she was sure that’s what she meant. “Let me rephrase my statement, we care about our guests but not enough to make improvements to the facility. We have a crappy clientele and we’re just not motivated to make many changes, so we’ll keep accepting rejects and try to turn a profit.”

One hobo staying at the hotel, known as Fart Simpson, feels insulted by hotel’s name change, but admitted that it does tell the truth about the hotel and its guests. “They’re the only hotel that didn’t care that I was a loser and couldn’t pay much. So, I guess I’ll make do.”

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