Steroid Scandal Erupts Over Bar's Buffalo Wings

WASHINGTON DC / FOGGY BOTTOM – In local DC bar news, Crapital Hospitality has uncovered that Marshall’s Bar and Grille has been injecting its popular wings with anabolic steroids such as HGH, testosterone, ‘the cream’, and ‘the clear’ for several years in order to offer the biggest and best wings to its customers. This information comes after months of undercover work, including random drug testing of the wings known as the ‘biggest and best of the district’.  The wings, pictured below, are Marshall’s top selling food item. 

“These allegations are completely false and outrageous,” claimed Marshall’s owner Needa Nujob. “Our wings are big, but they are all natural and always have been.”

Crapital Hospitality asked other area bars and restaurants about what they thought of the allegations. One of the managers from a competing DC bar and grill, who chose to remain anonymous, had this to say: “Look, we are not involved with food doping. But throughout the industry, food doping is the norm. This is especially true when it comes to wings, chicken tenders, burgers, and mozzarella sticks.”

While this news does hurt the DC hospitality sector, it will not go without further action. The Better Business Bureau (BBB) was recently alerted and will be doing a full-scale investigation. “We take food doping very seriously,” quoted Sammy Davis Sr., the chairman of the Better Bar Bites sub-committee of the BBB. “Some restaurants are given an advantage by giving steroids to their food – this is bad for the food and beverage business and in the end hurts the customer. This situation needs to be monitored closely and punishment will be levied if any establishment is found to be guilty”.

1 comment:

  1. pizza on steroids? i think so. must be a DC thing. this might be a good thing to investigate for your next post