Crazy Hobo has Overdose from DC Cheeseburger Hotspot

WASHINGTON DC / GW – In recent hospitality news, a local hobo known as Drunken Darius, discovered a local burger joint, Lindy’s Red Lion, and then mayhem occurred as he stole food and eventually went into a food coma from the deliciousness of the burger. A Crapital Hospitality reporter was taking a lunch break on GW’s campus when he discovered Darius, scrounging through the trash for food. Lindy’s is a popular burger and bar food spot that offers take-out and sit down service. More information about Lindy’s Red Lion can be found on  
DC Eats Cheap, a local DC food blog.

Darius was offered a free lunch from Crapital Hospitality, however he denied the food because “the owner gave him the stink-eye”.  Drunken Darius was amazed at the smells within the restaurant and even jumped the counter staring at the gelato display for a solid 10 minutes.

After seeing Crapital Hospitality enjoying a giant double cheeseburger, Darius(pictured on the right) lost his cool and attacked the owner, Jimbo E.

After the fight, Darius was determined to eat. He pulled his pants down, distracting and disgusting a female customer. He then stole her food and sprinted away. Crapital Hospitality followed Darius and tracked him down to a corner of a building where he was crouched over in the fetal position. “It hurts so good, It hurts so good…” Drunken Darius kept mumbling as he suffered through a cheeseburger overdose and food coma.

A picture says a thousand words and we leave you with this image of Drunken Darius.

No comments:

Post a Comment